DAY 12: THIS THING CALLED MARRIAGE I

 

 

Hello there guys! how are you preparing for the holidays? The Christmas holidays is generally perceived as a time to be spent with family and loved ones. Family is so important right?  When I asked my friend, Tola to write on a true events that have occurred around/ to her and share with us the lessons she drew from them, I had no idea what to expect really. On reading her write up, I was quite shocked honestly, because I thought that such things happened only in the movies. You know what? Let me leave my comment till the end of the post.

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“When it seems like God’s plan isn’t working, don’t go for the alternative.”

It’s 10:27pm on the 27^th of November 2013. I’m feeling the urge to write. The urge is overwhelming and I just have to pick up my pen. I’m sure you are wondering what this is all about. I’ll tell you in a while.  Let me take you guys down memory lane with me and let’s go back in time, shall we?

Sitting in my living room is a young, beautiful, fair complexioned woman talking to, or more accurately lamenting to my mum. All that is left of her marriage is a mirage leaving so much to be desired. She is so sad and embittered; I can almost palpate the pain that is going on the inside of her.

Her “beloved” husband was here the previous day adorning her in the devil’s garment and narrating how she was responsible for their marriage hitting the rocks. He was so convincing as he spoke to my mum, but trust her (my mum), she wouldn’t come to a conclusion without hearing both sides of the story which was why she invited the woman over to our house.  All that had happened has raised several questions in my mind. . . In fact, I’m almost confused.

I’m so sure that they must have loved each other. I’m also sure that they were convinced that they had a life together else they wouldn’t have chosen to walk down the aisle. Also there must have been a time when one could barely stand the absence of the other . . . then what happened? What turned the happily ever after into sadly ever after?

Earlier this year, probably in April, my uncle moved back in with us. He had lived with us for over fifteen year before getting married. When my brother sent me a message on whatsapp informing me of his arrival, I wasn’t alarmed because I felt that he probably had something to do in Lagos and just wanted to stay in our place for a while. The shocker came when he told me that his wife of 15 years abandoned him and had gotten married to a 70 year old professor and was in fact carrying the man’s baby.  My mouth was agape for several seconds and it took conscious effort to close it.

This woman in question as at the time they were getting married had the similitude of the perfect Christian wife. She was S.U to the core! She had all the paraphernalia; the unrelaxed hair, no earrings, flared skirt…name it.

About 10 years into their marriage, my uncle lost his job and that marked the beginning of the end of the marriage. His wife started getting closer and to her boss- the professor- and was receiving favours from him all the while lying to her husband that he was her father’s friend. Sometimes, the professor would drop my uncle’s wife in their house and my uncle would prostrate for this “God-sent” benefactor and even invite him over into the house.

It was a double tragedy the day he found out what had been going on. The land lord had just handed him a quit notice, in his innocence he called his wife to inform her of the development and how they were going to find a solution to the problem.  She bluntly told him to sort himself out. She had gone ahead to marry the professor secretly and had taken their two sons to live with her younger brother. And just like that, my already Jobless uncle was rendered homeless and wifeless with his children living under a stranger’s roof.

What happened to “for better, for worse”?  What happened to “for richer, or poorer”?

Now that’s the question. Someone once commented that these days couple “fall out of love” faster than hey “fall in love”. It sincerely breaks my heart when I hear that a married couple is having issues and is considering divorce. Really, what in the world is going on? Just thinking out loud though. 

The second part of this post comes up next.